Men: If Your Wife is Pregnant, these tips could save your life
By- Eric Ruhalter
If your wife is pregnant you are on the verge of your life's greatest joy. However, you're also in tremendous danger. Pregnant women have surging hormones. If you find PMS difficult to navigate, pregnancy will open your eyes to a while new world of slippery slopes. Mind you, she deserves the courtesy and the special attention. By and large your contribution to the birth if this child involves doing something every man want to do day and night anyway. And until you've peed a grapefruit, you'll never really quite understand what you're wife's going to go through when having your baby. So take heed...
- Your pregnant wife had an internal instinct to "Nest." "Nesting" is a quaint way of saying. spending way too much money on decorating a nursery and buying baby stuff. LET HER! And when she's nesting and asks your opinion about something, you better have one or pretend you do. Do your best to have the same opinion as her.
- You'll get ultrasound photos on some of your visits to the Obstetrician. These images will look nothing like anything. It's like looking at a Doppler radar weather map. However, you should coo at this photo as if it were the actual baby alive in your lap, or your wife will think you're "not excited." Do not ever be "not excited." Always be "excited."
- When selecting baby names first offer to name the child after your wife's dad. Even if his name is something really stupid.
- Pregnant women have "cravings" for particular foods. With your mouth closed, you should acquire said food for her at the first mention of any such food. If you have any misgivings about your wife getting heavy while pregnant, you should make absolutely sure that you never ever under any circumstances mention, allude to or even hint at them.
- Repeat after me" "Honey, from behind you, you can't even tell that you're pregnant!"
- In the later stages of pregnancy when she's at max size, refrain from providing large dinosaur footstep sound effects when she's walking across the room, "KOOSH!! KOOSH!! KOOSH!!!" Same goes for making beeping truck-in-reverse sounds effects any time she moves backwards
- In the delivery room, don't say: "The baby's almost out. How come you still look fat?"
I strongly urge you to heed this advice, as your wife in her hormonal state is significantly more likely to set fire to you while you sleep. So just help out as much as you can, shut up, and rub her feet. And Congratulations!
Great article right!?! I think all the preggo ladies should print it out and post it on their fridge for their husbands to see! Ha
And here are some photos of some of the fun "Nautical" items we got for Harper's nursery. Still working on it but it is really turning out cute!!! The glider should be here in a few weeks! YAY!!!
This is the sweet pillow Erik's Aunt Sharon made for Harper. I am in LOVE!!
And this is his octopus rocking chair. Is even sings!! Hehe. You can find them here!